Dadstuff — things I associate with dad that show up in my siblings and me: Reading thrillers… well, reading in general (ok, that’s due to my mom too); midnight family meals/snacks; coffee; not being too showy about feelings but being there when it matters; chips; spicy and salty food; The Beatles; family reunions; summer vacations; late mornings; lazy weekends; being a night owl; basketball; firecrackers at Christmas; car rides; road trips; “Eat it, it won’t kill you” (in Tagalog and sternly — when we wouldn’t eat our veggies or strange food he wanted us to try. My mom’s version of this was, “Ay, ka-ignoramus!” [what an ignoramus] said with a laugh. Which is probably the reason why we’re all adventurous eaters…); his frown when we did something we shouldn’t have done — he perfected the “makuha ka sa tingin” glare — his mock-frown when friends come over to visit so they end up getting intimidated; family recipes he loved, which is still on rotations in our various households; my brothers’ voices, which are variations of his voice; some of their mannerisms and facial expressions… also in some of their kids’ mannerisms and habits…I know there are a lot of things I’ve forgotten in this list, which is its own heartbreak in a way. Time blurs that which is not essential. It’s true that “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” but what I sometimes forget is that he lives on, in unexpected and amazing ways.